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I LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU I love you like I love you and I love almost nothing else but you. You should be honored: you are elite. I love you like I love no one else: how terrifying. Like a punch in the gut. Like a knot in the spine. Like the smoldering warmth of Scotch in an empty stomach. I love you like I’ve loved no other: yes, there were others. But none approaching the wonder and horror of you. I love you like fire loves oxygen. It is a love that is a need. I love you like I love you and it is all I can offer: It is everything. It is nothing. I offer me.
JUST
BECAUSE just because nobody thought of you like i did doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be thought of. just because you lie next to him cadaverous and sarcastic doesn’t mean you should not occupy the space beside me. just because your eyes brim large with the tears of blasted lifetime doesn’t mean your mouth should be empty of laughter. just because you die inside because i cannot hold you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t live. just because i ask i beg for the words the signs the touch the taste doesn’t mean when you have no answer, the answer should be just because. STEAL I am afraid to sleep – you will steal my eyes I am afraid to step - you will steal the ground from under me I am afraid to sleep – you will abscond with my dreams I am afraid to swim – you will abscond with my buoyancy I am afraid you will take what I am and who I am and all I love and I relish this fear that drives me to and from you and to you again and your field of flowers and the salt of your tears and my leaky rowboat, rudderless drifts toward you with the inevitable tide – and I am afraid to breathe for fear you will steal my breath and seal it with my heart – my heart that you stole on the first day we met I am afraid to move – you will steal my mechanisms I am afraid to think – you will steal my thoughts But how can you steal these things that I have already given to you whether you wanted them or not? TRACKS Your name is an irrelevance. Your past is merely circumstance. Nothing is coincidence. Your clothing is something I will remove to get to the heart of you. Your body, now your body is something to explore. You are winding hills and snow covered street, the gaslit memory of other lifetimes. I eat you and drink you and wash my face in your river and sleep fitfully beneath your blanket of stars. My hair loves you. My mouth loves you, the stammering tips of my fingers. My brain of rusted railroad tracks leading nowhere manages to love you unendingly. These tracks that now run along your veins, your pulse, the outline of your face that causes my pulse to quicken, your steps that won’t allow me to falter. And I wisely follow these flimsy tracks that used to lead me to wrecks and tears because they finally lead me somewhere good.. They lead me to you. -- JOHN TUSTIN |
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